How the House practices
The House has very little ritual and what there is fits in a drawer. That is a matter of principle. Elaborate ceremony tends to need a leader, and a path of spiritual independence cannot depend on one. Everything in this section can be done by one person, at home, in under an hour, with things already in the house.
The practices do not ask you to believe anything about what Lilith is. If you relate to her as a presence, address her as one. If you relate to her as a symbol, the same words will serve as a way of speaking to a part of yourself. The keepers include both kinds of practitioner. They have used these forms side by side for years, and neither kind has needed to convert the other.
What you need
- A notebook kept only for this. Paper is better than a screen. No one else reads it.
- A candle, or any single small light that you can put out.
- A mirror you can sit in front of. A hand mirror propped on a table is enough.
- A doorway. Every home has one.
- Privacy and about forty minutes. These are harder to find than the candle, and arranging them is the first act of the practice.
You do not need an altar, a statue, special clothing, incense, oils, or anything sold as belonging to Lilith. The House sells nothing and recommends no suppliers.
Ground rules
Open and close every session
Each practice here begins with a clear start and ends with a return to ordinary life: lights on, water, food, a few minutes of something mundane. The return is part of the rite. Shadow material that is opened and not closed tends to leak into the following day.
Nothing that harms
No practice of the House involves blood, pain, fasting, sleep deprivation, intoxicants, or any risk to the body. None is directed against another person. If you find a version of our rites that includes such things, it is not ours.
Change what does not fit
The wording of every rite is offered as a draft. Replace our sentences with your own as soon as you have better ones. A practice you have rewritten is more yours than one you have memorized.
Before you start
Please read the cautions on the shadow-work page. These practices are not a substitute for medical or psychological care, and there are times in a life when they should wait.
Tonight's moon
The one fixed point in the House calendar is the night of the dark moon. The display below is worked out in your browser.
The practices
Begin with First Steps, which arranges the other four across a single lunation.
First Steps
A four-week introduction to working with the Lilith archetype, from one dark moon to the next: reading, journaling, mirror work, and a first rite of refusal.
Dark Moon Observance
The monthly dark moon observance of House Lilitu: a simple forty-minute rite of stillness, review, and release, with the full text and upcoming dark moon dates.
Mirror Work
A step-by-step method of mirror work for shadow-work with the Lilith archetype: how to prepare, what to ask, how to close, and what to do if it becomes too much.
Rite of Refusal
A short threshold rite for making one clear refusal, modeled on Lilith's departure from the garden: write it, count its cost, speak it aloud, and step through.
Night Journal
Twenty-nine shadow-work journal prompts drawn from the Lilith story, one for each night of the lunar month, with guidance on how to keep a night journal.